Photoworthy

Once a year, typically just after Thanksgiving, I force my three children to dress up (the horror), herd them out the door, and drive off to some outdoor location across town to take family photos. I am somewhat sure they hate it, at least some years. And I get it. There has never been a year that did not involve some drama–last minute wardrobe change, sudden inability to locate proper shoes, something doesn’t fit right, hair is misbehaving, someone ironed a hole in their shirt,  oh no, we’re running late, I said get in the car now, you’re not getting anything from Santa, I mean it…get in the freaking car! You know, that type of vibe. And then there is the herculean task of getting everyone to look at the camera, at the same time, with eyes open, and if the universe allows, maybe even a smile. Maybe not. One of the kids has notoriously mean-mugged every photoshoot for the last decade. But the end results? Always worth it. 

But why? Is it that my children are particularly adorable, angelic, and agreeable, thus making every shot perfection? Of course not. Now obviously I think they are beautiful. What kind of psychopath parent doesn’t think that about their kids? As for myself, I don’t consider myself to be particularly photogenic or even necessarily confident in front of a camera. When a family member once commented, in a completely unsolicited fashion, that I didn’t have what it takes to be a model, I quickly retorted “Well it’s a good thing I have a brain and don’t want to be a model.” My sincere apology to the models out there. I am sure many of you are quite smart…my wrath was not truly directed at you. Anyway, I am more the type to need thirty attempts at a selfie to get a single one with both eyes open. And I am almost always the reason a group needs to take another shot (because either I wasn’t ready or at least one of my eyes wasn’t). So, if it is not my kids, and it’s definitely not me, then what is it that makes family photo shoots such magic?

I’d love to say it is as “simple” as the perfect lighting, setting, timing, angle, shutter speed, etc. creating that beautiful, cohesive, lasting memory. And it is that…and more. The “and more,” is what it represents, which for me is one of those rare moments where my family feels perfect and complete. When I look back on my life and think about the experiences I traversed…cancer, more than a dozen surgeries, poverty, abuse, assault, single parenting, and countless heartbreaks and losses…it shaped the landscape of not only my life, but that of my family as well. Obviously it wasn’t all hardship and grief…becoming the first doctor in my family (sorry, no modeling), being blessed with three children, watching them thrive and be genuinely good people despite illnesses and setbacks, being able to care for some of the most amazing patients alongside truly gifted colleagues, and finding my voice as a social justice advocate. These too have been integral in shaping our family. Now did things end up like I had hoped or envisioned? I’d be lying if I said it did.  But did it end up beautiful and wonderful anyway? Absolutely.  And while perhaps it doesn’t always feel perfect, for a few hours in November each year we get to capture a glimpse of our own type of perfection. A moment made possible by a lifetime of moments, most of which were not particularly “photoworthy,” that came before it. 

Massive shoutout to David Rey Photography for capturing our moments (and for putting up with any shenanigans whilst trying to achieve the perfect lighting, setting, timing, angle, shutter speed, etc). Thank you for truly amazing pictures! IG: @davidreyphoto